I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
