..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
