We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize