no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
