Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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