maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
