He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Your penis caused this!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
