So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
