I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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