I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
