I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
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