I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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