She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
