You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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