Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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