is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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