dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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