Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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