take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
