last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize