Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
