her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
