Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
