i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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