He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
