I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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