Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
