The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
