I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
