Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize