White coat. Heels.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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