Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
