theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
