How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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