today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
