eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
