i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
