Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
