i permit you to call me
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
