Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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