I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
im holly from the hills drunk
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize