I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
