i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
