I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
