Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
