I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
