last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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