I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
