your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
not ubering you a puppy
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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