i was born a porn star she said
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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