just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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