Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
That's how pantless uber rides happen
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
