i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
