is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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