I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You can't motorboat a personality
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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