whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
