Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
high people should be assigned attendants
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
