Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
