The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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